Losing It All
by allcanadianprophet
Summary: All Elder Thomas wanted was a brand new iPhone. But was it worth breaking one of the most important promises he ever made? Based on a prompt from pastries-and-turtlenecks.


Elder Thomas was giddy with delight. He had just gotten back from a long day of waiting. A day he had been anticipating for a long time. While he had been cramped into a tiny space with hundreds of strangers who really needed to learn the meaning of personal space. He had his feet stepped on, ribs elbowed and he had been shoved around like he didn't even exist. But all this had had _some _silver lining.

He had gotten the latest iPhone after all.

Elder Thomas was so excited, he could barely contain himself. But something was lurking on the edge of his mind, changing his excitement to guilt. Now he felt terrible. He'd broken his promise to his sister. Suddenly, he was back in that hospital room with his sister.

"You know Eric, it's funny. You really find you cares when you get cancer by seeing who comes to visit you. It's strange, none of my 'best friends' have come yet." His sister had shrugged, her pale face breaking into a weak smile.

He'd squeezed her hand. "They'll come soon, Annie. I bet they just don't what kind of flowers to bring you." He tried to smile but these days, it was hard to squeeze one out. But for his little sister, he managed.

"Ugh, not more flowers! This room is full of them! Jeez, I just want to go home and forget this ever happened," she said jokingly. Elder Thomas' smile had faltered for a moment. He knew that it would take a miracle for her to go home. Suddenly, his sister's face had gone serious. She had squeezed his hand tight.

"Eric. Promise me you'll never leave me. Ever." She had stared him straight in the eyes.

_Oh, Heavenly Father, she's so young. She's only sixteen for Pete's sake! Please… Please don't take her yet. _He'd stared back at her and clutched her hand like a life preserver.

"Promise," he'd choked out. Then her face broke back into it's usual cheery smile and she'd continued to read her book that was open on her lap. He'd just looked at her and thought, _How can she be so optimistic right now? Especially now._

Elder Thomas shook his head. _Don't think about that now. _He looked at the clock next to his bed. There was still time to go to the hospital and visit her. Grabbing his new iPhone, he thanked Heavenly Father – and the in-store the techies – for letting him keep the same phone number and convert all his contacts so he wouldn't have to waste his time trying to figure out his new phone. He was about to text his parents to let them know he was coming was he saw that he already had a text waiting for him.

"Oh, yay!" he exclaimed. "My first message on my brand new iPhone!" Elder Thomas felt slightly childish, being excited by such a small thing. But he ignored the fact that he did that all the time and unlocked his phone for the first time to answer it. But when he read the message, he dropped the phone onto the carpet floor.

All it said was _Your sister is gone._

Elder Thomas couldn't believe what he had just read. The doctor had said she still had two months! He snapped out of his temporary daze and grabbed his the phone. He dialed his mother's number and waited.

"He-hello? Now's not really a good time…" His mother sounded tired and about twenty years older.

"Mom? It's me."

"Oh, hi honey. I'm guessing you got our text."

"Yeah. Is she really… You know," he whispered. He heard his mother choke back a sob.

"Yes. Yes, she is. She just… slipped away. Just fell asleep." It was the elder's turn to refrain from weeping on the phone.

"Okay. I'm on my way." He could barely make out the words on the other end. Soon, a man's voice came over the phone.

"Eric? It's your father. You better come soon. They… They have to take her soon."

"Alright. I'll be there as soon as I can." His father hung up, leaving Elder Thomas alone. He didn't know what to do.

"Oh, Annie. Annie…" He just kept whispering her name until he couldn't make it out between the body-wracking sobs that had taken over his body. He stayed there, just crying for a moment then stood up on shaky legs and walked into her bedroom.

Even though it hadn't been used for a few weeks, it was still organized in her… Annie way. He paced around the room, recognizing her little habits every now and then. The way she stacked books everywhere but her book case. The way she had an outfit still lying on her bed. Her open box of Poptarts lying on the floor – his sister had a sickening obsession, he'd never understood. The way her room smelt like her perfume. The way she had left her notebooks on her desk, open to whatever she was working on. He looked at her notebook to see what she had last been working on. She had always been writing songs or poetry, trying to outdo herself constantly. Especially when she was diagnosed, she wanted to just write one great song about life before she died. It was her biggest dream, to be a famous songwriter and tour the world. AT the top of the page that was open was a letter. He was surprised to see his own name at the top. He took the notebook and sat on her bed. It read:

_To my brother Eric,_

_I knew you'd find this sometime. Whether you did or mom and dad did._

_My guess is I'm still in the hospital or I've already passed on. The second is a better guess – even though we bicker all the time, you still would never go in my room without permission. Something about Mormon guilt._

_Well, my bro, it seems like this is the end. I mean, soon I'll be gone and then you'll be off changing the world on your mission. But really, it's only the beginning. Hear me out, Eric._

_You'll go off and have an amazing time, meeting new people, baptizing new Mormons. You'll forget about how sad you are. If I can boss you around for once before I go, let me say this. Be happy. Have an amazing, fulfilling life. Live for the both of us. If you carry me with you in your memory and in your heart, I promise I'll pull some strings with the man upstairs. If you know what I mean._

_So go! Get out there and change the world. I'll be watching – make me proud. And I know I never really said it but… I love you, Eric. You've always been here for and I really appreciate it. I'm really happy to call you my brother._

_Love Always,_

_Annie_

_P.S. Help yourself to my Poptarts. I won't need them anymore. They're very comforting, I swear!_

Elder Thomas was stunned. His sister had never, ever said anything like this before she got sick. _I guess she just wanted me to know_, he thought as he stood from her bed, wiping away any stray tears. He was about to walk out of her room when he saw the open boxes of Poptarts on the floor by her desk. Elder Thomas considered leaving them for his parents to deal with, but decided to keep them as a personal favor to Annie.

About a moth later, the box was completely empty. He'd eaten all of them, hoping that the grief and guilt would become easier to deal with, but it never did. As he shook the box out, looking for more, a tiny slip of paper with a few words fell out. His eyes widened as he read.

_I told you so. -Annie xoxo_

Elder Thomas carries that note in his pocket to this very day.


End file.
